Preparing 2

I write this in the lovely surroundings of the Crieff Hydro. Neil is at work today down in Leven and I have a day to myself. So far I have had a long lie, watched JK, been on FB, written part of my address for the Rotary Christmas Party tomorrow night, been to the Spa and am currently sitting with my trusty netbook having a naughty glass of wine looking out of the Winter Garden conservatory of the Hotel. Nice except I am bored of my own company lol.

Neil & I take off for a couple of days each December - normally to do some Christmas shopping but more importantly to spend just a couple of days just the two of us. This year it has been especially important because the next month will see huge changes for us, as we prepare for the move to the Manse. We are both looking forward to the move and to settling in a new community not too far from home. We still have lots of decisions to make - primarily what to do with our own house. It's been our home for 15 years and we built it - so a lot of love and sweat has been invested in it. We are not sure what is best - rent it out? Sell it and buy something else as a wee bolt hole? Keep it as our bolt hole? I am sure things will become much clearer.

Then there are the decisions we are having to make on the Manse - colours, carpets, curtains, furniture, where to put all our stuff!! We started off 21 years ago in a wee 2 bedroomed house in Carluke and now have a big house FULL to bursting with stuff!! I think the local charity shops may see a lot of it - but what to keep? What to ditch?

Advent is a time of preparation - as we look forward to Jesus' arrival as a tiny baby. For us it is also a time of preparation as a family as we prepare to move and settle in a new home. Both come with many expectations. I just have to trust in the Lord that all will be well.

Minister Elect

Well.....really gone done it now! This afternoon the very lovely people of Aberlour Parish Church elected me as their new minister. No longer simply the parish by the river but the parish that we will move to and I will serve.

Its been quite a journey - as I told the people of Aberlour on accepting their invitation - Aberlour is not where I thought I might end up when I began training 4 and a bit years ago. BUT it feels just so right and I am very, very excited about the future.

Yesterday as I was preparing the final and bits and pieces for this evening I was sent a wee note from my dear friends Doug & Lesley - they pointed me in the direction of 1 Peter 5:1-7 - wonderful, wonderful words of encouragement and guidance. I particularly like verses 6 & 7:

"So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you."

I carried these with me this morning.



So now there will be lots to organise - lots of plans to make and see through. But today is for celebrating - celebrating being the right person, in the right parish, at the right time, with the right people.

Gone and done it now....

I have just got back from a few days away - a much needed break away from the stress and fuss of the last few weeks.
It also gave me a chance to 'celebrate' the outcome of the last couple of months' snooping/discerning/praying/discussing/applying/meeting people etc

The lovely people of what will hitherto be known as "The Parish by the River" have asked me to preach as 'sole nominee.' This means that on the 22nd of November I lead a service and at the end of it the members of the congregation vote as whether or not call me as their minister.

It was a great moment accepting the invitation but I also had to let other people know I would not be following up on my application or tentative interest. That wasn't so easy.

Anyway there is now lots of planning to be done - most of it based on the assumption that all will go well on the 22nd of Nov. The main reason being that there is a huge amount of work being done to get the manse habitable. I had to make my first decision less than 24 hrs after accepting the invitation to be sole nominee - I had to choose a kitchen! Tomorrow it is bathroom fittings. I am very lucky to be getting so much say - but when I tell you the manse has no interior walls or you will understand why it makes sense. Essentially we will, all being well (successfully preaching etc), be moving into a 'new' manse - everything will be brand new. They have even promised the minister's cat will have a cat flap!

It is quite a thought to plan moving from our current home into a manse and settling there. We have a whole lot of stuff to sort through, decisions to make, arrangements to make. But there is also the emotional turmoil for everyone to deal with. Granted we are only potentially moving about 12 miles but that still comes with it's own issues - especially for the teenagers of the house. We just need to keep the lines of communication open and keep talking....

Snooping!

During the week I talked about feeling much better after my wobbles of last week. I have been praying, thinking, discussing, snooping at, pondering this week at possible parishes. So far much effort has gone in to one in particular - but I am trying to remain open to all possibilities.

Yesterday Neil & I went manse snooping and village wandering. Then today I dragged my sister to not one but two church services - I also let her take a peak at the manse. (she is a patient sister!) So far so good.

Next stage is to do same for other possibilities - in part to try and remain open to the possibilities but also to test the feelings I am having about this particular place.

This is all very exciting - it has to be said. Scary too - but in a less terrifying way than I experienced a couple of weeks away.

One of the biggest moves has been to get the rest of the family involved - get them talking more - sharing their ideas, worries etc. I know this move affects them all to varying degrees. It complicates things for some, excites others and upsets some. For so long this has been a "will happen one day - but not quite yet thing, so let's not worry about it" thing. And suddenly for all of us it is VERY real. Of course we have talked about it - on and off - but suddenly it is a major issue that has to be dealt with. The last 5 years have been leading to this. I am so glad I have the people around me that I have - they are great - even in their wobblies they are fab!

Neil - ever efficient Neil - has made up a spreadsheet for me, with a scoring system to boot. Jest as I will about it - it actually helps. It covers everything from the very practical to the very spiritual. It also allows Neil and the kids to score each too. We make a great team!

Anyway - I will be blogging more in the weeks to come as we work our way through the decision making etc - this is why blogging is important - it is giving me space to work through my thoughts. Thank you patient reader!

Granny and the Waltzers!

It has been ages since I last blogged and so much has happened!

First there was the Unofficial KGS Reunion - when 7 of us got together for an afternoon/evening. The last time we were all in the same place at the same time was 23 years ago - but it felt like just yesterday. Was so comfortable with everyone and we all had stories to share - lives to catch up on. A Good day!

Then there was our family holiday - Tunisia - sunshine, sunshine, sunshine, wine, beer, books, chill time, lots of snoozes....just what was needed.

During the holiday there came exam results - highs and lows - the hardest of days for parents and offspring I think! Who thought exam results by text were a good idea????? Anyway despite the disappointment the good news is that KD will go to college to do Social Sciences after all - she has a place at college on what they call a 2 + 2 course - 2 years at college to do HND then 2 further years at university to complete her honours degree!



Home from week away to do some diy at the flat and get ready for John's arrival and then we had the Ballater Highland Games. This has become an important date in my family's diary. (John has been adopted in our family - I get a row for saying he is 'my' friend - coz he is much loved by all of us!)We all head for Ballater, where my dad grew up and his brother still lives. We then enjoy a picnic together and then enjoy all that the Games offer - including the obligatory visits to the beer tent and the Patron's Hospitality Tent. Then we pile round to my aunt and uncles for a BBQ. All this adds up to a great day. Normally we head home (one of us having been nominated Des) but this year well had all booked into the Craigendarroch. Neil & I had a beautiful suite with a huge four poster and jacuzzi bath - it was our 21st wedding anniversary afterall!

This years Games were special because my dad and his brothers and sister were all there along with most of my cousins. We really did have a lot of fun and laughs. I am also beginning to realise how grown up my children are getting.

Today's blog title is in tribute my mum who was persuaded by her two elder grandaughters to go on the waltzers!! The mind boggles.....

Anyway it has been great few weeks and its now back to work after yet another BBQ this afternoon.......

I think I need a holiday!!!!

Happy Mummy!!

I am a happy mummy! See above! My girl has been there!!!!

KD has been intouch - phoning me whilst I was in the middle of a meeting! Only KD!
But the good news is that she is well - having a great time and really enjoyed the trek to Machu Picchu!

Had been a little worried - one of her travelling companions had posted a message on Bebo that they were dropping like flies - I had not heard from KD so was worried... I know but I am trying! But apparently she and one of the boys are the only two that haven't been ill!

I am so proud of my girl - she sounded really happy - very excited and - och just cheery!!!

Two weeks down - two to go!

Long Life

The last couple of weeks have been the busiest of my probation so far - and also the most real.

There have been the school Easter Assemblies, worship leading, pastoral visiting, meetings and more meetings, discussions about cups versus bowls for soup, Guild AGMs and this week a real highlight - I met the neice and nephew of a man whose funeral I am taking on Tuesday next week. A highlight because I have the priviledge of doing a funeral of a man who lived to the grand age of 99! There is of course sadness in his passing and he was so close to that landmark 100th birthday. But what a celebration too - 99 years of mostly good health and independence.

My great granny was 96 when she died - she too lived a mostly independent life and I have great memories of visiting her and munching the pancakes that she would bake for us - and of her sweetie bowl from which, if we were good, we were allowed to take a sweet on the way out. She was a grand old lady and I so glad that I knew her. her life story was amazing, starting in Norway and ending up in Ballater via Oregan in the US. It was whilst in Oregan that she met my great granddad - a scot. Apparently it is from my great granny that I get my colouring - although not sure I am very grateful of the freckles! I would like to know more about her and for some reason I feel an affinity to her.

I wonder what lies ahead...will I live into my nineties? Do I want to? mmmm....


Naeroy Vally - Norway

How many 'me's are there?

This is the question posed by Stewart. He puts it slightly differently but essentially he asks how many different aspects are there to your life/persona. Here is what I posted in reply:

"Like you there is the ‘me’ that is in and of the world - I am involved in my community, I socialise in that same community - go to the pub, the gym, the shops. I love my community - I grew up in it, I cant walk down the street without bumping into lots of people that I know and who have known me for a long long time. I am a mother and wife - my kids and hubby are very precious to me. All of this part of me has helped shape me into the forty something I am.

I too have worked for the ‘church’ albeit the denomination I belong to. I now find myself training for the ministry in that same church. I have never been more content in what I ‘do’. It feels so right - whether it is leading worship or sitting holding an old lady’s hand whilst she tells me what is worrying her or even joining in with the kids at Sundays school. This ‘me’ is a content me. Working for the church allowed me to find this person.

At the moment because I am on a placement in a different town to that in which I live - these two ‘me’s don't seem to meet very often. Except, perhaps, when I know someone that someone else knows. The family don’t come to church with me - they prefer their long lies and work. But they do support me - 100%. For us, what might cause others conflict or concern, seems to work quite well. And that is despite the fact that in around a years time I might be asking them to leave our home and community to set up somewhere new. (Ask me again about this in a years time!!!)

Can I reconcile these two ‘me’s? I think I can. The two may only collide in me the person - but they both contribute to the whole ‘me’. They both influence the way I look at the world. There is cross pollination - I live my life in my community with an ethic and outlook shaped by my faith. My faith is in turn influenced by the world around me. And that is the way I think it should be."


I now want to go a step further and make this observation: I am a Christian and I belong to a community of faith BUT that does not exclude me from being of the world and community in which I live. My faith, as I said above, has helped shape me. But so has my community. I care about my community and in so doing I get involved. I have on a number of occasions got stuck in and joined various committees - including an action group to campaign for new play equipment for the local park, I have been chair of the Playgroup Committee, the School Board and even sat on the Community Council. I have for the last 6/7 years been heavily involved in a youth project in the town. But I am not sure that I ever thought to myself "I am a Christian and as such I must go out and help"- I have helped because I saw a need - I wanted to help.

Perhaps my faith has encouraged me to want to help - but it has not been my conscious motivator. I have instinctively got involved. And that is the crux of - instinctively I serve. Perhaps this is where my two 'me's collide?

One thing I am certain of is that God has called me to serve the church and my community - it is not one or the other, it's both. Not for me the Hauerwas world of Christians leaving the Christian huddles and 'doing' good works in the world before scurrying back to their Christian huddles. For me it is important to live in the world and be of the world. That is how I can best live out my faith and best share that love of God with others.

Sorry for the rather lengthy post - blame Stewart for getting me thinking!!!

Parental love

"You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life." Mark 1:11 The Message

At the grand old age of 40 (well for the next six weeks anyway) you would think that I would feel all grown up and quite independent of my parents. The truth is that I still look to my parents for their approval. Not for everything - my mums face was a picture when she saw our holiday snaps, once she got over the shock of my wearing a bikini (too skimpy apparently) her eyes then stopped on the tattoo on my upper thigh! But for bigger more important things. Having them at my graduation earlier this year was a BIG thing for them and it was a BIG thing for me too, having them there. I know that at that moment that they were proud of me - I was fulfilling my promise; this was for them too.


As a parent myself I am extremely proud of both my kids. They are both very different but both wonderful and hopefully 'marked by my love' and definitely 'pride of my life.' I hope they do not feel that they are constantly having to seek my approval. I hope I tell them often enough how much I love them and how proud I am of them. (Not that they are perfect - know one is!!!)

God - Abba - Daddy. As a daughter of God, I know that I am loved. And I know that my heavenly daddy might not always be best pleased with me. Perhaps I ignore him too often, or I do and say things that must make him frown. But regardless I know he loves me. He is the parent I want to be.

"You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life."

Christmas in ministry...

Yesterday was a lovely day - I was particularly touched that my son announced his favourite present was the rather nice sketchbook he found in his stocking. (I think it cost £3.99!) And my daughter loved her lipsalve keyring. (Bought with her expedition to Peru next summer in mind.)The family were all in good form - lots of love and laughter around.

Family has been an important part of Christmas for me my whole life. I have been blessed with wonderful parents who ensured our Christmases were always full of love and I hope we have been doing the same for our children. I am blessed with a fab husband and two lovely (if at times trying!) children.

On Christmas Eve they all came to the Christingle Service at my placement Church: my mum and dad, Neil and the kids, my sister and her family. It was lovely having them there to share in the noisy fun. With over 70 children and their families it made for a noisy service - my voice at one point was drowned out by the excited children as they queued to get their Christingles lit. But rather than fight it, I let it go. Everything calmed down and we finished on a high sharing the blessing together. To be part of such a happy church service was great. To see more chairs having to be put out to accomodate the crowd lifted everyones spirits.

Tomorrow we come down with a bit of a bump. I have blogged recently about visiting a lady whose husband was ill. Well he died on Tuesday. Tomorrow is his funeral. So in this week of happiness I have been reminded it is not everyone who has felt like celebrating. I visited the lady on Tuesday to pay my respects. I had so few words for her but few seemed needed. Tomorrow I take part in the funeral, a year to the day after I took the funeral of my aunt. It might seem the saddest time of year to be dealing with death, but it is also the time of year that we are reminded of the love and peace that came to earth when Jesus was born. A love and peace that offers the comfort of knowing our Lord knows our pain and sorrow - he shares it.

Such is the lot of a minister (albeit probationer) that following the funeral I hot foot down the road to meet some old school chums for lunch. The last time we were all together in the same place was about 7 years ago and that was at my sis-inlaws wedding, so in reality the last time we met for a proper girly chat was more than 20 years ago. We were all at school together and don't see enough of each other. Infact one of my chums and I have had more contact in the last year than in the whole of the last 20 thanks to Facebook! I am really looking forward to catching up and no doubt sharing more than a few remanicences.

No doubt there will be blogging material.....

Jesus's Mum & Dad

These words from Mary & Joseph are courtesy of "Hay & Stardust" from Wild Goose Publications.


Mary
Your eyes are open now.
Those eyes will open the eyes of others.
You study my face
and, just for the moment,
though you came for the world,
you are mine and mine alone.
I made you and you made me
and we gaze at each other
in equal wonderment.






Joseph
Here I stand
holding the tiny, warm weight
of God in my hands,
Such a tiny weight
to lift the huge weight
of the world.
Here I stand,
The proud father? Not me.
I have been utterly humbled
by your arrival.
You're not my offspring,
not part of me,
and yet, at the same time,
already inextricably part of my life.


In the coming days I will be thinking of Mary & Joseph and their journey. A journey that took them to that cave/stable/shed, a journey that had to be made. They had not chosen their path, rather they had been chosen. Chosen to be the earthly parents of our Saviour. I know what it is like to be a parent. The joys, the worries, the happiness, the frustrations, the wonder of a new life, the responsibility for that new life. This I can share with Mary & Joseph. I love being a parent. I love my children. They are a delight. They are a challenge. But I love them, just as they are. Just as God loves me. Just as God accepts me. He sent his Son for me, for you, for the world. To be our light in the darkness. My prayer this Christmas is that amongst all the glitter and baubles that all can glimpse a picture in their hearts of Mary & Joseph and their child. And that a light will be ignited in their lives. A light that will not go out.

What came into existence was Life,
and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;
the darkness couldn't put it out.
John 1:4-5 The Message

Yesterday

Yesterday was a lovely day. It started with going to church twice! Twice because I was leading worship, not at my probationary placement but at my home church. I have never led an entire service at my home church before but yesterday was my chance.

The first service was at the wee country kirk - 14 of us enjoyed our worship together.

Then it was up the road for the second service - 1/2 an hour to grab a coffee and then drive back to Keith, ready for the 2nd service.

The 2nd service was very special - my family were all there and it also gave me a chance to say thank you to the people who have sustained me, not just over the last few years but for most of my life. I have been a member of this congregation, on and off, for about 26 years - they have seen me grow up, get married and have children. I have been an Elder for the last 12 years.

It was good to be able to say thank you for their ministry to me - they may not realise it but they have in so many ways, individually and collectively, pastored to me through their prayers, gentle encouragement and even their questions. I was also able to pay a tribute to my minister - he has been a wonderful support to me - always available, generous of his time.

The strangest thing happened at the end of the service as we (the minister and I) were walking to the door - applause started and some people even got to their feet. Odd, embarrassing, lovely, awkward, sweet..........nuff said.

I am going to post my sermon later, once I have edited it for publishing. lol

After the service I stayed for the Annual Stated Meeting. then my mum and dad came up to the house for our typical Sunday lunch - bacon butties!

Later on we went out to mum and dads with my sister and her crew. Whilst granny organised tea for all 10 of us - we went for a hike up the hill.

It was just so lovely to spend time with everyone. We don't do it often enough. family really is important. Its too easy to not find or make time. But as I see us all get older, I realise how precious our time is.

Lord God,

I thank you for the time we can share with our loved ones,

I thank you for their love,

Love that sustains me and feeds me.

I thank you Lord for each and everyone of them.

Amen